It's time!!!

I had my 32 wk appointment today, although I don't officially MAKE 32 wks until tomorrow. I have had some pressure to have the babies soon from family members who see me suffering and don't feel I am able to keep this up. I did some soul searching and went in today to tell the doctor that although I feel I can't go any further, I will do what is needed to help them be born healthy. After a lot of discussion, the doctor agreed to deliver them in one week. However, the OR scheduling put us back to Monday, April 3rd. So the babies will be born at 32 wks and 4 days. I will be the first set of quads delivered, that we know of, that are delivered without any hosptialization whatsoever. They will be delivered at 7:30 in the morning, so I might check in to the hospital the night before to make sure that I am there and to get settled in. So, all prayers are appreciated. Please pray at 7:30 AM Monday Morning for my precious babies to be born as healthy as they can be.

31 wks

Yesterday I was 31 weeks. I called my doctor's office to tell them that the benadryl they recommended works at making me sleepy, but unfortunately I still don't sleep. Maybe you call sleeping 3 hours broken up over the course of a day sleep, but I surely don't. I find myself sleeping standing up in the shower, on a toilet, in a chair. I am exhausted and uncomfortable. I cannot imagine another 3 wks or even two weeks. My body is too uncomfortable. I get into bed and don't know what to do to get into a position where I can sleep. I begin to cry because it is too hard. I can't breathe when I am lying down. It now hurts to walk. There is so much pressure. Then of course, there is the swelling. My feet don't even resemble feet. The swelling is all the way up my calves and was in my knees yesterday. I told the doctor's nurse that I want to talk about delivery on my next visit. She said the doctor said "it will be on the table for discussion." He better hope there are no sharp objects around if he says I have to wait longer. I wouldn't wish this misery on anyone. If I could just sleep through the discomfort, I would be okay. I start to feel like I am going to die because I cannot breathe. That's enough to keep me from lying down.

I do better during the day. I drift in and out of sleep sitting in my chair or lying with my tummy over the side of the couch. At least there is something to watch on television during the day, unlike the wee hours of the morning when I am awake. I am eating well - better than I have my whole pregnancy, which is strange. Last night my husband made me a BLT sandwich. Of course, he confiscated it after it was half eaten because he discovered mold on the bread. I think he is trying to do away with me. He is starting to recognize what life will be like with the pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter of little feet.

He has told me he feels "drained" by me. I want to hit him over the head with something. He works about 11 or 12 hours a day, trying to make the money we need. He comes home and I wait for food like a little bird patiently. He makes us dinner and picks up around the house. Then there is bedtime. He tries to help me get comfortable and then he dozes off, while I am wide awake. I barely see him. Then he has the unmitigated gall to be involved in softball, playing golf, going to the races, going out to dinner/drinks with his co-workers, hanging out with his friends for an hour here and there, etc. He said he likes to have some "fun." Fun? Hmmm. I think he will be sorely paid back after I am through carrying these babies. I haven't had ANY fun throughout the pregnancy. I plan on him getting up with the babies by himself for at least one week. It will serve him right. What do you think? By the way, I have added some photos in the blogs starting with the update. There are some sonogram photos under 28 wks of the twin boys. More will be added to the photo gallery when the website owner gets the pics and can upload them.

Burdens and Blessings

As I approach 31 wks, it is getting harder and harder. I don't know how long I can hold out. I have never been much for pain; I like comfort. There is no comfort within the body I have. Most body parts hurt, especially the back, abdomen, feet, and knees. Imagine carrying around bowling balls with your tummy alone and maybe you can imagine what it feels like. I strain to get from a lying to a sitting position, a transition I have to make many times per night and day to go to the bathroom alone. I can't catch my breath at times and I feel like a flailing turtle who can't turn over in its shell at others. This leads to panic. I am doing poorly at resting, sleeping in 1 hour increments with sleeping medication. Insomnia and discomfort are starting to get to me. I called my doctor today and asked them to prescribe me something. They suggested I get benadryl and take 2 tablets at night and see how it goes for the next couple of days. If it doesn't work, I was told there are other options. The worst part is travelling by car. A trip to Orlando for a doctor's appointment in our little Mustang is pure hell. I feel like a giant trying to fit in a miata. My complaints aside, I continue to hope to make it as long as possible. I am not trying to make any records. Some suggest it is soon enough and I should have the babies taken now. But, if something were wrong with them that could of been stopped by carrying them just a couple more weeks, I couldn't live with myself. Surely 33 or 34 wk babies do better than 30 or 31 wk babies. I am trying to be strong for them. My female parts seem better equipped to carry me to further gestation than my mind or spirit is.

I did some things I "shouldn't" of done this weekend, but were needed for that mental part of me. One of the things that is different about a quad pregnancy from a singleton (normal) pregnancy is that singleton moms are able to feel joyous and happy about their upcoming arrival. They don't walk around with fear. They are able to work and continue normal activities usually to the end. They don't live in isolation. They are surrounded by their friends, family, coworkers, etc. They go out to dinner, the movies, and they can go to church. I haven't been able to do any of these things. I figured since I made it so far in the pregnancy, I could take the liberty of being normal for one day. My husband got me dressed and ready for church and took me with him this Sunday. Granted, I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. I am a little embarrassed by the way I look, but I have to get past that. It hurt to sit in the pew for an hour and I had to get up and walk to the back of the church to stretch due to the exertion on my knees and belly. Yet, I got more out of it than I suffered for it. I am glad that I went, even though some might look at me with disdain.

After that, my husband drove me to Walmart so that we could look at nursery furniture. He put me in a wheelchair which was embarrassing to me, but necessary. I couldn't of managed walking that store. We were able to pick out some nursery furniture and had the guys about to load it, when we realized "We don't have a truck to get it home." It was much more affordable than the nursery furniture we were able to find online. The babies don't need the fanciest cribs; they will only be in them a short time. When and if we find a truck, at least we know where we can get their furniture. So, it was as normal a day as I am going to get. I don't think I will do that again though. It took so much out of me. I will have plenty of time for normalcy once they are born. Well, after thinking about what I just said, forget that statement. Normalcy? Yeah, right.

Some of the positive aspects that keep me going:

1) The kindness of people I have never met- I had a surprise not so long ago. A woman that my husband sold a vehicle to, Mrs. Marsh had wanted to help us. She and her grandaughter, Ashley (who came from Ft. Meyers) came to see me bearing gifts. I was so touched by their generosity. I was shocked that someone who never met me could treat me like I was their family. I was overwhelmed.

A friend of mine's church had a baby drive for me and many people donated their hand me down clothes and toys,etc. to us. We still haven't gone through all the clothes. My sister-in-law, Lauran, went through and sorted and took the clothes home with her to be washed. She had many bags. She informs me I don't need any more blankets. I think I have enough to blanket all of Highland's County. There are so many cute little outfits. I think they are going to be covered for the first year with clothing.

I also had a beside potty chair donated from Heartland Medical Supply. It helps me get up and down a lot easier. I thought it was very nice of them to do that for me.

2) Support from family - Thank God for my parents. Without them, we wouldn't make it financially. My husband does the best he can at his job, but it certainly doesn't bring the income that we were accustomed to and doesn't begin to cover all of our bills. Some weeks I have to wonder if we owe the company he works for money for letting him go to work, while other weeks he does well. It's hard to believe by what he brings home in pay that he is the top salesman there 3 months in a row. If you know anyone who needs a car - send them to him!! You can find him at Alan Jay Chrysler/Jeep/Kia. I know we are draining my parents financially and I feel bad for it, but there isn't much I can do about it. I wish I could work, but I can't right now. My insurance is over $500.00 a month alone. Thank you mom and dad for keeping me insured. I am sorry you will never retire Dad.

I guess my husband could return to racing at any time and make much more money, but that isn't feasible in our predicament. He can't leave his wife on bedrest and 4 babies when they are born to travel all over. I appreciate the sacrifice he has made even if it comes at a cost. He threatens me frequently to return to racing... like I don't have enough anxiety. Someone talk to this man!

3) The little breaks in loneliness- I have several ladies who came from the church to help out around the house we moved into. They offered to do anything they could for us - even if it was just to come and walk the dogs. I really don't like to put anyone out, so I won't be taking them up on their generous offers. However, they helped out by just being interested and talking to me for a half an hour or so. I am really appreciative for that.

I also have to be appreciative for a small network of quad mothers who I correspond with online, who cheer me on and provide so much support. We are able to commiserate and share our experiences. I feel like they are part of my extended family and look forward to my email from them every day. Two are behind me in gestation and I help to motivate them (one actually is 9 wks pregnant with 2 sets of identical twins, like me). 2 of them have already had their babies and made it to 33 and 34 wks. They inspire me to keep going.

My beloved pets- They are so wonderful. I can never be too lonely with my 2 cockers following me around all day and showing their devotion to me. It is like they know I am pregnant. My oldest cocker, Chauncey Elizabeth, is so mothering. I know this might sound strange. I can just see her when the babies come. She is going to be so devoted to them. My youngest dog, Noble, he just is a fearful creature. He barks at everything new that comes into the babies' room. He has taken all the rubber duckies that I had set around the bathtub and runs thru the house with them squeaking them, like they are his toys. Too funny!! I couldn't chase him, so I let him play with them until his father came home and put them away. He had to explain to him "these are not your toys" and offered him his own toys to play with. Somehow, I don't think it's the same.

4.)Medical support - Besides tooting my doctor's horn for him, his nurse is wonderful. Allison is always a phone call away and cheers me along. His sonogram techs are so sweet and always tell me how well I am doing. The case manager, Shelley, at Florida Hospital Orlando calls me weekly to check in on me. We have nice discussions. It gives me someone to talk to and she doesn't seem to mind. I feel like we are fast becoming friends, swapping stories. The nurse from my home uterine monitoring company - Matria, Cindy, calls me daily and is always supportive and helpful. She too, is very encouraging and I always feel better when I talk to her.

5.) Learning thru other's experiences- Two stories came to me via email this week. One is a mom to be of quintuplets who has been in the hospital for several weeks now. She is fighting to make it to 30 wks. She has a wonderful website that shows great community support. She has video journal entries and in one of her last posts, she talked about her struggle. It is getting hard for her too. She's now at a point she cannot eat at all. She started to cry and as I watched her cry, I cried too. If she can keep it up, so can I. Check out her website at: http://www.5ontheway.com/default.htm

I also learned how grateful I should be that I have made it as far as I have. An assistant basketball coach at Bucknell University and his wife, Amy, gave birth to quads at 25 wks. The babies are struggling for their lives. 2 were given last rites and one has passed away. It was very sad to hear. If you can imagine going your whole pregnancy hoping to take home babies to be devastated with a funeral right after their birth. My heart and prayers go out to them. It makes me truly count my blessings. You can read their story at: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=2374475

I have so much to complain about, but more to be grateful for. I will try to grin and bare it for as long as I possibly can. Thanks for your continued support, love, and prayers.

Elisa

Hurray for 30 wks!!!

Wooohoo!!! Today is 30 weeks!! I made it to the initial goal, though that goal is now extended. I had my doctor's appointment today and proceeded there with trepidation, anticipating today might be the day that he hospitalizes me. I was pleasantly surprised. I had a nice long visit with the doctor after the sonogram tech did her job and had a lot of questions that I actually remembered to ask this time.

First off, the babies are healthy. The girls are weighing about 3 pounds and 6 oz, while the boys have more variance. Hunter Pierce is weighing 3 pounds and 5 oz, but my little runt, Preston Riley is weighing 2 pounds and 1 oz. I maintain concern for him, due to his size. However, he has gained a pound in the last month and that satisfies my doc. The amniotic fluid levels are good and my cervix is still super cervix!!! YAY!!

I could not see them clearly today. We couldn't see the faces at all. All the sonogram tech could see was parts of the body, because they are getting soooo big. All I could see was a mish mash of gray, black, and white. I couldn't even make out the heads. That made the sonogram less than interesting, but I was so glad to get good news. My blood pressure remains very good; I am having very few contractions, but my feet are very swollen and it is uncomfortable in every position. However, I would be much more uncomfortable in a hospital environment. The doctor didn't feel that I need hospitalization yet. He asked me how long I want to go. I said "As long as I can stand it." He told me he liked the way that I think. I would like to have Preston up to at least 3 pounds before I deliver to give him a better chance. That would put the other babies at over 4 pounds. So, our goal now is 34 wks. He told me that in the end I will feel like I can't breathe. I told him I already feel that way, but he assures me I haven't felt nothing yet.

Dr. Fuentes is wonderful. I am so happy to have him handling my care. I hope he recieves the recognition he deserves for delivering these babies into the world healthy. I was very sorry that I didn't get to see him on Birthday Live on Tuesday. We don't have Discovery Health on our Dish. Florida Hospital Orlando was one of the 3 hospitals showcased in the special. He consulted a woman who was in labor 38 hours on the show. My mom and grandma got to see him. My mom said he was such a "ham" for the camera and my grandma thought he was a "doll." Unfortunately, they didn't tape it for me.

At least I have made it to the critical point of 30 wks. So, anything from here on out is just going to be an extra benefit for the babies. I have gained 48 pounds and am now 51 inches around the middle, 3 of those inches came in the last week alone! I will just try to continue to eat the high caloried foods he wants me to eat and try to stay off my feet.

I am not looking forward to the c-section, so I have plenty of motivation to stay pregnant as long as I can!

29 wks

Well, I have made it to 29 wks. Optimism about making it to 34 or beyond is fading fast as misery sets in. I have had a very hard time getting comfortable. I feel stretched to the gills and it is hard to sit, stand, or lay down. The nights are the hardest because just when I find a position that I can manage to sleep, I am up to the bathroom. The stress of the weight on my knees caused my knee to go out earlier this week. Fortunately, the doctor gave me permission to take Motrin for 24 hours. It was a godsend. I coveted it like it was some major drug. I finally have gotten some sleep with a prescription medication. Unfortunately, I have taken to sleepwalking and get lost in my sleep, run into walls, and do other strange things (that I will not share here) that usually end up waking me up.

My mother has been in ICU for the last few days, after an endarterectomy. She had a 95 percent blockage on one of her carotid arteries and they had to clean it out. It's typical for someone to be in ICU for a few days after. We had our scare with her blood pressure being so low after the surgery, but with medications and time, it came back up. She is now weak, but stable and will be discharged today. She was in a hurry to get it done so that she can recover in time for the quads to be born.

On a more positive note, I had a beautiful baby shower this week. My friends/co-workers at the hospital threw it for me. It was decorated so nicely with pink AND blue and had 4 balloons, 2 that said "It's a girl" and 2 that said "It's a boy." Quite clever. I recieved so many nice things: a lot of clothes of varying sizes, burp cloths, bottles, books, wrist rattles, stuffed animals, a baby bathtub, recieving blankets, sockies, crotcheted blankets, rubber duckies, music, some lotions, powder, and wash, some diapers, 4 carseats (a gift from the hospital auxilary), and free grandparenting assistance. There was so much, I can't remember it all. It was lovely. I have to get my thank you cards out now.

We are in our new house, but living out of boxes still. There are so many things I would do if I could, but I recognize my limitations. It will have to wait. I have all the baby shower stuff strewn about the room and I have bags of clothes that were donated from a friend's church still sitting there to go through, with no place to put it. I certainly hope I will have a little time once they are born to get their room settled before I am carrying them home to this mess. It is something I would like to do myself.

Well, that's about it for now. I have been trying to get to this for awhile, but haven't felt up to it. Thanks for your continued well wishes and prayers. I need them more than ever now.

28 wks

As of today, Thursday, March 2nd, I have officially made it 28 wks. I am very happy to be able to continue to enjoy some comforts of home instead of being confined to a hospital bed. I guess I am really surprising my doctors and the staff at the maternal fetal center. They were really happy and surprised at my 26 wk appointment that my cervix remains closed and long. They say it is as if I am only carrying one baby instead of four. They felt I would need hospitalization by 26 wks, as they indicated that most quad moms would be hospitalized by that point.

My appointments remain every 2 wks. I had my last appointment yesterday. The sonogram technician was bubbling over with excitement as she shared that everyone there at the doc's office talk about me "all the time" and are soooo impressed with how far I have made it. She checked my cervix and exclaimed, "Beautiful. Just beautiful." I guess I could have stranger compliments. It has shortened a bit, which concerned me; it went from 3.7 to 3.3. She said that it was still "great." I had to inquire about when they might consider hospitalizing me. She said that when it gets to around 2.5, they may consider putting me in the hospital. 2.5 would still be normal.

They only check on the babies with a sonogram every other visit, so that means I get to see them every month. I asked her on this visit if she could just check on them, because I hadn't felt movement from one of the boy twins and was concerned. I wanted to make sure they were all there. The check really reassured me. All the babies are moving about and have good heartbeats and ample fluids. She even took a couple of pics for me. Their faces were readily visible and she exclaimed "look at his nose. How cute is that?" It looked really cute when she was just viewing it, but the printed sonogram pics kind of made me laugh. It looks like the boy's nose is about 1/2 the size of his face. It is soooo pronounced. I am asking, "Who's nose is this?" because both my husband and I have tiny noses. I might end up with twin boys who's noses resemble Cyrano De Bergerac's or Pinocchio's. Poor kids. They already have to deal with being known as "the quads" and now they might get called "the quads with the noses."

Anyhow, the doctor came in after all of this and was very optimistic about my situation. He was joking about how I must hate hospitals because I am determined to stay out of them by keeping my cervix long. He shared how impressed they were with how well I am doing. He gave me even more good news after that. I failed my 1 hour glucose tolerance test and had to endure a 3 hour test on Tuesday. It was hardly bearable. I was pretty sure I would fail because I failed the one hour and everyone told me I would most likely get it during my pregnancy. I mean, you are told to eat high fat/sugar foods to gain weight rapidly, you aren't allowed to exercise, and you gain 42 lbs in 7 months. It would seem logical I would get diabetes. Good news is: I don't have gestational diabetes!!! YAY!!

The doctor said that if I wanted to be on t.v. they could deliver me in March. Babies Live (Discovery Channel) is doing a special from Florida Hospital Orlando. I told him while I appreciate the offer, I don't think I want to have my babies early just to be on t.v. HA HA. He said that I might just make it to 34 wks. (I knew they would push the goal out further and further). He shared excitedly, "Well if you do make it to 34 wks, there is a good chance you can take one or two babies home with you." I didn't think before responding and I only realized how bad it sounded when I left and my mother told me how badly I embarrassed her. My response was, "No thanks. I am not ready for them to come home right away." The doctor just kind of looked at me funny. My mom laughed and said he was probably thinking "Lady, do you plan to just leave them in intensive care?" I guess he must think I am a real winner. I said, well I could talk his ear off and explain the whole long drawn out story but I don't think he really wants to know all of it. I guess bedrest or no bedrest, I better be ready.

Well, that's about all that's new with me. I haven't been very good about keeping this journal. Things just go by very slowly and frankly I am not that interesting right now. I don't figure many people read this anyway.

We finally have a newspaper article that we are proud of. Debbie Upp from Florida Christian News wrote a beautiful article on us and we have put the article on the site. It replaces the badly written (in my humble opinion) Highlands Today article. Check it out on the main site and make sure to visit their website @ floridachristiannews.com for other news/articles.

God Bless You All,
Elisa

Thanks for listening!!

Made It 25 wks & Tums (the other food group)

Today makes 25 wks! The countdown continues. I would say I only have 5 more wks to go to make it, but the doctor broke it to me at the last appointment that his "real goal" is to make it to 32 wks. He is just dragging this whole thing on and on. By 30 wks, he will probably be saying I should go to 34 wks. My husband had the gall to ask if I could go even longer than that. My perinatologist informed him that this was very doubtful. He said that by 32 wks I would be completely miserable and would be begging him to take the babies. I am almost there.

So far, I am doing really well carrying them. There have been no more serious problems since the hemorrhaging in the 9th and 12th week. I have heard of women having to go into the hospital for months before the babies are born to keep them from having pre-term labor. Most of them have to have cerclages (stitching up the cervix) and some have to lie in a feet up in the air position. There is a name for that position, but I can't recall. Can you imagine having to lie on your back with your feet up in the air for months? I can't even bare the thought. So, I have been very blessed so far.

We have to travel to Winter Park to go to the perinatologist appointments, so it is about a 5 hour round trip drive. There are no high risk doctors in my area. The trip is totally worth it. I love my doctor. He has such a gentle, kind, and loving disposition and he is good at what he does. I have heard there are no better peris. He apparently doesn't take on many private patients nor does he actually do the deliveries of most of his clients. I am one of his few private cases. I am his only set of quads at the moment, though he has delivered three or four in the past. Lucky me.

Usually, the appointments take quite a while. They have so much measuring to do. It's amazing what they can tell in-utero. They can tell any defects or abnormalities. So far, my babies are perfect. They are even slightly larger than they should be. At 22 wks, they were weighing in at 11 oz (the runt), 13 oz, 1 lb, and one was slightly over a pound. They should weigh 10.5 oz at that gestational age, according to my pregnancy book. When I first heard their weights, I was a little confused. I thought identical twins were supposed to be identical. I can't believe I didn't think a little more before actually asking that question. I am a little slow to process things some times.

The best part of the visits is getting to see my babies on the sonogram. I will tell you that every single time they have done it, one of my boys is boxing his brother. He just punches and kicks him, while his brother just takes the beating, without retaliating. My mother jokes about this. She says she sees I am going to to have one who will join the Marines and one who will join the Peace Corps. We have a long line of boxers in our family. My great-great grandfather and his children (My great grandma and her brothers) were all into boxing and one of them "Wee Willy Davies" was reportedly a very good pro flyweight of the 1930s. My great grandmother even boxed against Jenny LaMar from France. Whenever I see my baby boxing, I think of a photograph of my great grandma in her boxing gloves. Priceless. Maybe my son is following in the Hines/Davies tradition. I will have to get him a punching bag though so he will stop practicing on his brother. Poor thing.

The girls are just little angels. They always have their hands up to their faces and their little legs crossed, when we spy on them. However, I feel them kicking the most when not being spied on. So, they aren't fooling anybody.

I have had so many people say that I am not very big or that I don't look like I am carrying quads. To me, I am a huge. I can't believe people tell me I don't look big. I have been doing my best to gain weight, but it is VERY hard to eat enough. I always have a feeling of fullness in my abdomen, so I usually can only have a little at a time. I have to live on tums due to the heartburn that is unrelated to any food or beverage consumption. It comes on even drinking water. The doctor has told me that I need to focus on eating high fat foods, but that is about the last thing I want to eat. I have been trying to eat ice cream or shakes. It's very hard to explain why there is such a huge difference between this and a normal pregnancy. If you are having one baby, they don't want you to gain more than 25 lb and encourage healthy eating and exercise. I am told never to exercise and that I need Haagen Daaz and bacon to gain as much weight as possible (65-80 lb) to ensure successful birth. That's so much weight.

I have felt a few contractions, but that is to be expected. The sonogram tech explained to me this is normal. She said the body isn't meant to carry four babies at a time. I am bigger than most people with singletons at this stage in the pregnancy, so the body is tricked into thinking I am further along than I really am. It is as if I am 35 wks., so contractions are normal. The doctor doesn't worry about the contractions as much as the length of my cervix. It is still very nice and long. They keep a close eye on it. When it starts shortening, I am going to be hospitalized. Stay long cervix!! I hate to say I hate hospitals because I work for one, but I hate being a patient.

One of my fears was somewhat alleviated after talking to the doctor about it. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a big chicken when it comes to needles/pain. I have been very apprehensive about a c-section. I told my doctor about this fear. He asked me what was bothering me about it the most. I think what bothers me the most is knowing there will be a catheter put in my back. I told him I know that I will be unable to sit still for them to put it in due to my fear of the needle going into my back. He said he would make a deal with me. He will give me something to "relax" me before they do the epidural/spinal block if he is allowed to play Garth Brooks while the babies are being delivered. Unusual? That was about the last choice of music I would have expected from a hispanic doctor. I questioned him on the song selection, suggesting he might want to play "When the thunder rolls." He laughed and said he was thinking "Standing outside the fire." See why I love this doctor? Of course he did threaten to keep me pregnant for a year if I get him angry again by not being 100 percent compliant with bedrest, so I better behave.

I have my next appointment on Valentine's Day. I am looking forward to seeing how my babies are progressing and crossing my fingers that there will be no hosptilization in my immediate future.

It Must Be Nice To Lie Around and Eat Bon Bons All Day

Life has gone from fast-paced to uneventful, as I await the coming birth of my children. There are few hints that it is the weekend, other than the change in television programming. Watching the amount of television I do, my brain is turning to mush. I grew up with parents who limited the amount of television I could watch and most often what I could watch. At the time, I really was grateful my mother shared my interests in television programming. My father was so boring. He used television as a medium for education vs. entertainment. He may have been the only staunch viewer of PBS, watching "This Old House," "Nova," and other educational programming. On the other hand, my mother and I watched television purely for entertainment. We would watch The Jeffersons, Alice, One Day At a Time, and the one that REALLY grated under my father’s skin the most was "Green Acres." (Gotta love Zsa Zsa). He made fun of us watching situation comedies, calling them "funky doo doo." (That’s a very scientific term he came up with from all that brain power he was accumulating from PBS). I think it means crapola, but I am just guessing here.

Now, I seem to understand what he means. The more television I watch, the less I have to use my brain. I am starting to think it has atrophied. I can’t remember much anymore. I can’t remember where I put something. I can’t remember conversations. I forget to bring back my mother’s bowls from a dish she would prepare me (A huge NO NO equivalent to borrowing and losing her favorite piece of jewelry) days and days on end. I have misplaced things I have misplaced. I think my brain has atrophied. Have I mentioned I forget what I have said already? Sometimes, I forget the dogs and kitty need fed. Oops. Hope this is just temporary forgetfulness or the kids could be in trouble.

I planned to use this time much more productively. I would write letters to people. I would study new therapeutic techniques and more on diagnoses. I would read about parenting quadruplets. Heck, I would even write that book I have always wanted to write. When do I have the time? I am too busy watching Judge Joe Brown, Oprah, Starting Over, The View, Tony Danza, and on the educational side HGTV and the Style Network programming. In between the important television watching, I take naps. I have been so bored that I have taken up imaginary shopping. What’s this? Well you go to a store online and you start ordering stuff that you want, adding things to your cart as you go. Then you contemplate the choices and choose other things instead. Once you have "acquired" everything that you want, you then exit the site without actually purchasing. It’s still there the next time you visit the site for another round of contemplation. Tell me my life’s not interesting.

The most brain power I have used in weeks is doing a few scrapbooking pages to get ready for when I won’t have time to scrapbook (my favorite hobby) and in writing these posts. But, then this isn’t exactly what I would compare to preparing a thesis. I like to challenge myself by doing cryptoquotes but that is all of 15 minutes of my 24 hour long day.

It just occurred to me today that this isn’t any picnic. One day fades into the next with the monotony of my present existence. My only goal, albeit a very important goal, is to be a good incubator and grow these babies. I kind of feel like a bird, a big bird, sitting on its eggs waiting for them to hatch. When my husband comes home after his 12 hour day at work and has to start cooking and cleaning up after me, he complains of being tired. Poor baby. I have to remind him that I am working hard too, though sometimes I don’t think he believes me. I could defend my position on this point very easily. He doesn’t have to lie around all day and endure endless kicking, back pain, round ligament pain from a uterus growing 4 x that of a normal pregnancy, swollen feet, difficulty breathing, a squeaky mouse voice, or boredom and isolation. It must be nice to sit back and eat bon-bons and watch tv all day. No, it really stinks. I would much rather be at work, socializing with my colleagues, helping my clients, even dealing with politics and some power hungry individuals than being on this little vacation.

If you come up with any ideas on how I can pass the time more enjoyably, please let me know. I am open to suggestions. Maybe you have some ideas that I have neglected to think about.

Update

Wow. A few days ago I didn't even know what a BLOG was and now here I am creating one. I chose to add a journal to this site because I wanted to share with family, friends, and well-wishers what was going on in my life and in the development of my babies (both prenatal and after they are born). It occurred to me that they (well you) were missing so much because things keep unfolding quickly. In the last week alone, I have had a lot of drama and excitement, but we will get to that momentarily. My uncle, generously, has created this site to try to help raise support for my unborn babies and now has managed to introduce a new term into my vocabularly - BLOG. After a quick computer guided tutorial, here I am typing away. Hopefully, it won't be wasted. I am not sure of what I am in for, especially given that comments are allowed. Not sure if my hormones can handle an influx of criticism to my private thoughts. My emotions are all over the map, but I am assured that this is not the start of some mental illness, but a normal part of pregnancy - especially a multiple pregnancy. But, I digress. After reassuring you of my mental stability, I shall begin to BLOG.

To catch you up to date, I am now 23 wks pregnant with 2 sets of identical twins. I am only 2 days away now from 24 wks, the gestational age when the babies would be "viable." It would be very bad for the babies to be born now, but they would have a chance at survival. My goal is to make it to at least 30 wks, although I hope to go as LONG as I can. To maintain my pregnancy and prevent preterm labor, I am on bedrest. There are many levels of bedrest, from light bedrest where one has more liberal privileges and can sit in a chair for a long period of time to strict bedrest where one is only allowed to get up for bathroom privileges and meals. I have been ordered to the strict level in the last couple of weeks after being properly chastised by the loving perinatologist who is overseeing my care. I am doing all I can to stick to it, with only a few exceptions.

I have been ill for over a month. I started with a cold on Christmas Day and when I thought it was clearing up, I got an ear infection. When I was treated for an ear infection, I began to have a sore throat and chest congestion. I lost my voice and breathing became hard. I have been through two types of antibiotics and breathing treatments, but the voice didn't come back and the breathing problems haven't resolved. I went to see a pulmonologist/internist locally, whom I had known from work, very recently. He didn't initally recognize me and later explained that my appearance has drastically changed. Well who's wouldn't? It's not like I am getting my make up and hair done daily and that 40 pounds I have put on might have something to do with it. He told me that there was still infection and sent me home with my third course of antibiotics and sample nebulizer treatments, before telling me not to come back to him because he didn't want to be responsible for 4 babies. Of course he said this lovingly. I threatened I would go see his wife, since she is also a physician in the area and he was not opposed to this idea at all. Ha Ha. Seems everyone is frightened in my rural town to be involved in caring for me. My perinatologist will not be laughing.

Well my ribs hurt from coughing so much and I had a hard time sleeping at night, especially having to share the bed with my husband the bed hog and my cocker spaniels who try to sneak up on the bed several times a night but lately have been ending up on the floor because I can't handle the closeness. I have only been able to sleep a couple of hours at a time, though I sleep on and off all day. Perhaps I am readying myself for the schedule the babies will hold me to once they are born.

Well, we have been trying to find a way to get into a bigger place even though our income is limited. Family friendly rental properties are limited in my area. Who is going to rent to a couple with quads and two dogs in a predominantly senior town? Combine that with the fact that most input we have recieved is pro-buying vs. renting e.g. if you rent, you are throwing away money, mortgages are so low, it costs as much to rent, etc. etc. However, I am much more pragmatic than most of those around me because I said we would have to wait to purchase a home until after I could return to work and after we had some savings so we could put a down payment on a house. Everyone in the immediate family, both mine and my husband's family have kind of looked at us as crazy for waiting. After all, someone will remind me regularly (not pointing any fingers here) "YOU are going to have four babies!" "Where are you going to put them?" My husband set out to look for housing and I just laughed at his delusions.

Then possibility became real. My parents graciously agreed to help pay the mortgage until I could get back to earning an income, making it more possible that we could obtain a home. My husband got a realtor to show him homes and found one that was ideal for us. It was walking distance to my mother's house (she will be my main child care support). The realtor hadn't asked him about anything until he went to sign an contract contingent on financing and found that we don't have the ten to twenty percent down payment. I am sure she felt her time was wasted, but she did a contract contingent on financing. I contacted my good friend Jennifer, who works for a mortgage broker and discussed the possibility of financing with her. She was pretty positive in the beginning, but the reality of one income prevented us from getting 100 percent financing that wasn't anything short of INSANE payments. I gave up immediately, resigned to my I live in the real world mentalilty and accepted that this RV will be the only home we will have until we can find a rental after the babies are born. No expectations, no let downs. My husband called me a quitter, but you know what? I don't need the stress. He accessed another broker, a real go getter from the Boca area. I reluctantly talked to her and told her from the beginning, if a friend of mine cannot do it, I don't expect you can either. Well, she was very optimistic about her abilities to get it done. However, a few days later, after my optimism had peaked, I found that she could not get it done in our name. However, she questioned if my parents might be the borrowers. I told my mother of her inquiry and my mom spoke to my father. They agreed to buy the house for us and put us on the deed at closing. With a new buyer, Carrie, the mortgage broker was able to get us pre-approved for a mortgage. I don't know why I had it in my head that interest rates were 5%. We calculated our mortgage on the house we loved and found it reasonable. I was very disappointed to find that with 100 % financing, I would be carrying 2 mortgages - one at 8.6% and one at 11.6%. This made the mortgage unaffordable. I felt like my emotions were on a rollercoaster. Every piece of good news was followed by bad news. I gave up each time. Add to that, someone else put a contract on "OUR" house and I was definitely ready to call it quits. That same house became available and unavailable as quickly as I had mood swings. I was ready to just go back to - no expectations no let downs. Why had I let myself get caught up in all this excitement?
The mortgage broker came up with an idea to help us. She said that we would need to get the seller to give us a 5% concession at closing so that we could have no money out of pocket and "buy back points." I had never heard of this before. However, it means that if your seller contributes money at closing, the lender will reduce the finance percentage 1 point per 1%. We were back in the ballfield of affording a mortgage. Now we had a new challenge. Every house that was considered now had a contract on it or would have one on it five minutes after it was liked by my husband. Things were just getting hilarious. Again, I was the quitter. I said, "It just isn't God's will for us right now." Too many signs were there. I still was wondering how we could afford a mortgage. My husband and mother say God will provide. I think this is just a misuse of scripture.

In the midst of this, my mother ends up in the hospital for syncope. I went to see her and was very unhappy with the way that she was not being helped. She had been there most of the afternoon and evening without knowing who her nurse was, having someone provide her with ice chips she had requested, nor had anyone started an i.v. I was upset she didn't go to "my" hospital. I know that she would have good nursing care there. So, I had a mini episode with the staff, who I am sure were concerned that I would go into labor if they didn't help her quickly. Within an hour, she had ice chips and an i.v. Glad my hormones could be helpful for once. She was treated and released two days later. She came home happily, but continued to feel dizzy. She had to prove this point by falling out of the bathtub and breaking her nose and tooth while bruising her chest and face. My 80 year old grandmother came to me (the one on bedrest) for help when the bleeding started. She's fine. Don't worry. She got stitches at the doctor's office the same day and prognosis is good. Nothing can be done about broken noses they say.

The next day, I end up in the hospital. My husband brings me home a fast food sandwich, which I didn't eat immediately. When I did, it wasn't tasting good. I became sick, as I frequently do. When I did "get sick" (polite version), I put stress on my back. I heard a loud popping or snapping sound and felt excrutiating pain flood my back. I was screaming in pain. I felt like I couldn't breathe. The crying made it worse, but I had a hard time containing myself. My husband rushed home from work at my request. He tried to get me up so he could take me to the hospital, but every move he made was wrong and I ended up feeling more pain. I was crying "My back is broken. I know it is broken." Without any better options, he called 911. I had my first ride in an ambulance. The pain wouldn't let up, but I had to put pressure at the bottom of my rib cage for a modicum of relief. Spasms kept coming. I made a fool of myself in the ER, crying and screaming. I did this in front of the assistant to the adminstrator and the VP of nursing who came to check on me (forgive me Debbie and Donna) I couldn't contain it. It seemed to take forever, but finally the Xray technician came and did a chest x-ray. He was very pessimistic about the probability we would find anything because the area that needed x-rayed would be covered with a lead skirt to protect the babies. Sure enough, my x-ray revealed nothing. I was sent home with tylenol three with codeine (a whopping five of them), some phenergan, and instructions to follow up with my perinatologist. I could not bear the pain initally. I was unable to lie in bed. I slept upright in a chair. So much for bed rest. I contacted my perinatologist and told his partner, the one on call, what had happened. He suspects that I have a hairline fracture in the rib cage area and I suppose this isn't uncommon for multiple pregnancies. He said it wouldn't be detected on x-ray and there is nothing that can be done but to give it time to heal and "hang in there." For two solid days, I screamed with every movement - lying down, going to the bathroom, coughing, being transported by car to my mom's. It was horrible! My perinatologist's partner called in another pain medication, amazed that I was sent home with only 5 pills from the ER with the weekend encroaching. I am pleased to say that five was more than enough. I didn't have to fill an additional prescription. I have now grown tolerant of the pain and can handle it all much better (except when I cough). Funny how you grow accustomed to pain.

Finally.... good news on us obtaining alternate housing. Family, who at this point wish to remain unmentioned, came forward and offered to buy a house for us cash and then sell it to us with an interest rate of 6%. In other words, they hold the title and we make payments directly toward them. They said that when we get on our feet, we can choose to purchase the house in our name and it will be sold to us at the same price purchased less that which was paid toward the principal. This way, we have a much more affordable mortgage since we will not have to pay for a first and second mortgage. They were most generous to extend the offer to us. I have to admit, it is very hard for me to accept the offer. I didn't have a hard time accepting when it was my parents, but I think I kind of see them as "mine." I have a hard time accepting from anyone else. It is very humbling to be a receiver. I can't believe that someone took it upon themselves to "invest" in us with our financial situation glaringly apparent. Now, we are closing on our first home at the end of the month. I should also thank Chip Boring, the seller of the house, who agreed to sell the house for less than requested. Thanks for working with us!

Thanks for baring with me as I do my first BLOG. I know that I went on and on, but there was a lot I wanted to update people on. The changes in our lives are huge as we embark on this journey. We don't truthfully know what to expect. It is not like it is common knowledge when you are having quads. Everything is scary and exciting about our future. I really want to thank everyone out there who is praying for us. I feel the strength from your prayers. I know in my heart that these babies are going to make it because of those prayers. So far, I am told that I am doing a "phenomenal job" carrying these babies. I think I have a phenomenal God who knows better than I what these babies will bring to this world. Thank you to all of you who have sent emails to my mom with questions/support/offers to help out. Thank you Norma from Restoration Church who generously offered to gather diapers and wipes for us from your life group families. Thank you Lynda, mother of twins, who have offered to come and help when the babies are born. Thank you former supervisor, Donna, for offering to help in any way you can. Thank you Fr. Jose and The Gabrielle Project for keeping me/us on the prayer list, doing rosaries, and checking in on me. Thank you "Kitty" for calling because you saw a story like mine on Oprah and for being so invested in my progress. I appreciate every kind thought and word you all share and I could never thank you enough. It really touches me to see people be supportive and to reach out to us in any way. Thank God there are kind people in the world who believe in the simplest of blessings - prayer. After what I considered a very poorly written article on our situation, with misquotes and crucial information left out plastered on the front page of our local newspaper... I am very surprised at all that I have received any support. I recieved hate mail in fact via my mother's email address from one anonymous - Richardwells whom I have no idea who he is or if he even exists. I never wanted to do a website or for that matter did I want media exposure. I followed advice of those who I know had my best interest at heart and initially felt like I had been right with my belief that one should deal with their own needs and not ask for help. If you do ask for help, you open yourself up to scrutiny and basically get kicked. What I didn't expect is that for every "kicker," there is another who will pick you up and comfort you. Thank you for making me realize I was wrong. I am blessed by you.

Welcome

Hi. My name is Elisa Ewing and welcome to the Ewing babies blog.