April 8th

The babies are 5 days old today. I have been missing them terribly the last day and a half that I haven't been able to see them. I woke up in the middle of the night and had to find pictures of them to satisfy my loneliness and longing for them. But, today we left for Orlando and I am so excited to see them.

We checked into the Ronald McDonald House around 4:30 pm. I wasn't sure what to expect; they only charge 15.00 per night. The place is wonderful. There are 3 floors of rooms with numerous common areas: a laundry room, study, living rooms, a community kitchen, and a play room for the kids. The play room is great because we plan to bring Anthony's older children, Dylan (11) and Savanah (8) with us next weekend when we come to see the babies. They also have tons of movies and video games that can be checked out. For convenience, they have volunteers who make dinner every night, serving us at 6:30 pm.

After orienting ourselves and dropping off our bags, we headed over to the hospital to see our babies. It is only a short block, but for me any walk is tough since I have been on bedrest so long. Three of our babies, Gabrielle, Alexandria, and Hunter have been stepped down to level 2 NICCU and are together. Preston is in a private room, by himself. They say he needs to be 1000 grams before they can move him with his siblings and he is 930. So, hopefully in the next couple of days he can be moved.

It was so exciting to see them. We went to see the three in the special care unit first. We were met by the charge nurse at 5:30 pm and I inquired immediately about holding them. She said that it wasn't a good time. They would be closing the unit for shift change in 1 hour and every visitor had to be off the floor by then. I asked about holding them after 7:30. I was expecting "Yes, of course." But, instead she said we would have to talk to the nurse when we come back to see what was going on. I was a little upset, but tried to hide it. I knew that if I had a problem holding them when I returned, they would be having a problem. We tried to visit with our three precious ones, but all of them were sleeping soundly. Gabrielle was so cute, sleeping with her butt high in the air. So, we went over to the private room to visit with Preston. The nurse over there at the time, Aida, was much more welcoming and put us to work right away. I changed Preston's diaper and allowed the nurse to continue with her assesment/medical care. She had to check his glucose and did a "heel stick" which made Preston cry. My heart breaks everytime I hear his little cry. He like his siblings, gets his food through a tube. Unlike his siblings, Preston has problems digesting food and has been behind in the number of CC's they give him daily. We helped give his feeding and then daddy got to hold his littlest boy. We affectionately refer to him as our little "peanut."

When daddy held Preston, he started to cry and for awhile I didn't think he would stop. Daddy must not of either, because he said "I don't think he likes me." I told him I thought he was just giving us heck for not being there the last day and a half.After a few minutes, he calmed down and enjoyed being held kangaroo style (skin to skin under a shirt). I let daddy and Preston bond alone. We then had dinner and went back to the Special Care unit, prepared to advocate for ourselves if they wouldn't let us hold our babies. Instead of being met with the same negativity, we were pleasantly surprised by the friendliness of our babies' nurse, Samantha.

She had us prepared to do all the personal care for our babies. While I get all the poopy diapers, daddy changed a poop free Hunter. I administered the feeding while daddy held Hunter. I started feeling deprived, so we switched roles until the feed was over. It was wonderful to have my baby boy in arms. After the feeding, daddy got to hold Hunter kangaroo style, while I went to prepare Alexandria. HOlding her was heavenly. She kept her eyes open, just staring up at me. I felt her fingers and toes wiggling against my skin and had to look to appreciate the 10 fingers and 10 toes that I helped create. Gorgeous feet and fingers!! They are really daddy's feet and aren't so cute on him. But, she makes them look good. She started to sleep in my arms, making herself very comfortable in my arms. I don't know why, b ut everytime I hold them skin to skin, I feel mesmerized and am drawn to sleep. I made the nurse and daddy very nervous because I kept shutting my eyes and drifting off.It's not like she is going anywhere. She is secure inside my shirt.

Anthony finally put Hunter down and took on holding his main girl, Gabrielle. He has held her the MOST of all the babies. I tell him he's playing favorites. He and Gabby continued to bond while I went to hold my littlest boy, Preston. After an hour had passed, Anthony came to get me. Preston and I both were asleep. I think I could of stayed like that all night, but I was forced to give up the baby. I asked if I could just take him home with me. The nurse said "one day, but not today." I feel like I am waiting for Christmas. We returned to the Ronald McDonald House to get some sleep and after a couple of hours, I wish I was back at the hospital with the babies. It won't be long before they are mine 24/7. That keeps me going.