31 wks

Yesterday I was 31 weeks. I called my doctor's office to tell them that the benadryl they recommended works at making me sleepy, but unfortunately I still don't sleep. Maybe you call sleeping 3 hours broken up over the course of a day sleep, but I surely don't. I find myself sleeping standing up in the shower, on a toilet, in a chair. I am exhausted and uncomfortable. I cannot imagine another 3 wks or even two weeks. My body is too uncomfortable. I get into bed and don't know what to do to get into a position where I can sleep. I begin to cry because it is too hard. I can't breathe when I am lying down. It now hurts to walk. There is so much pressure. Then of course, there is the swelling. My feet don't even resemble feet. The swelling is all the way up my calves and was in my knees yesterday. I told the doctor's nurse that I want to talk about delivery on my next visit. She said the doctor said "it will be on the table for discussion." He better hope there are no sharp objects around if he says I have to wait longer. I wouldn't wish this misery on anyone. If I could just sleep through the discomfort, I would be okay. I start to feel like I am going to die because I cannot breathe. That's enough to keep me from lying down.

I do better during the day. I drift in and out of sleep sitting in my chair or lying with my tummy over the side of the couch. At least there is something to watch on television during the day, unlike the wee hours of the morning when I am awake. I am eating well - better than I have my whole pregnancy, which is strange. Last night my husband made me a BLT sandwich. Of course, he confiscated it after it was half eaten because he discovered mold on the bread. I think he is trying to do away with me. He is starting to recognize what life will be like with the pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter of little feet.

He has told me he feels "drained" by me. I want to hit him over the head with something. He works about 11 or 12 hours a day, trying to make the money we need. He comes home and I wait for food like a little bird patiently. He makes us dinner and picks up around the house. Then there is bedtime. He tries to help me get comfortable and then he dozes off, while I am wide awake. I barely see him. Then he has the unmitigated gall to be involved in softball, playing golf, going to the races, going out to dinner/drinks with his co-workers, hanging out with his friends for an hour here and there, etc. He said he likes to have some "fun." Fun? Hmmm. I think he will be sorely paid back after I am through carrying these babies. I haven't had ANY fun throughout the pregnancy. I plan on him getting up with the babies by himself for at least one week. It will serve him right. What do you think? By the way, I have added some photos in the blogs starting with the update. There are some sonogram photos under 28 wks of the twin boys. More will be added to the photo gallery when the website owner gets the pics and can upload them.